My 30 Day Challenge

March 3, 2015 by davinca

My 30 day challenge that was off to a not so great start…

Ok so today I started off the day with this delicious berry smoothie, walked Bella to the bus stop and ran pretty much all the way back..I have actually never ran as far and for as long as I did which I am so incredibly proud of..I got home and pretty much collapsed on the bed but that is to be expected…

 

What I am not proud of and must confess to is that yesterday I failed myself BIG TIME!! So much so that I spent the entire day stewing over it and was so un motivated that this post was written and re written in my head from morning to night with new additions to add but never made it out of my head. I was just that exhausted, lazy and ashamed perhaps..

Now first let me start with what may sound like excuses, perhaps that’s exactly what they are but they are genuine “facts” and possible “causes” to me so they are important to my story.

Saturday night I had decided that I would officially begin my 30 day challenge on Monday, you just cause Monday sounds like a nice clean day to start a new beginning..Woj was starting his on Sunday. Woj has a very defined one – To cut out all sweets and sugar. I on the other hand am not so clear..I know that that is too much of a direct ask seeing as sugar and sweets have become my addiction once again since returning from NYC last July. My diet has gone down hill and my waistline and over all well being has gone down with it. My firbo is flaring up, I constantly feel iky and bloated and my clothes just do not fit me as well. This is not good! I am quite simply too busy to neglect my body like this, I am opening myself up to getting sicker and less productive. I quite simply cannot afford to continue this way. To cut myself off to harshly too quickly will also set me up for failure so I must go slow. 3 years ago I lost 13kg over two years and cured myself from stage 3 toxaemia. I did things the right way and had never felt better in all my life. This is where I need to go back.

Ok tangent Tash back to Sat night…So I also told a friend, yes Sophie-Ellen, I am looking at you kid wink emoticon on an inspiring post I shared that I would be starting Monday, let’s do this tighter. I was excited and pumped. My biggest mistake first off is that I still was not clear with what I was setting. I knew I was going to cut as much junk out as possible and walk for 30mins Monday to Friday. I hadn’t written it down yet though which is an incredibly important part of any goal setting and something I am researching at the moment and will be implementing in my new role as Happiness Officer at Kwasi Studios. Man I need to get my shit sorted and setting an example or how can I expect the staff to take me seriously??..back on track…back on track..

Sunday at work was hard, we were non stop from 9 to 5pm and then I headed to the office and worked till 8pm. By the time I got home I was worn out and wrecked! Monday morning arrives and awake soo tired it’s as if I didn’t sleep at all. At this point I wonder if my body is fighting off a sickness, there is a lot going around..I get on with school runs etc and come home to begin work, check a few emails and my eyes are dropping..My ph alarm goes off telling me to go for a walk, I am so tired I can’t even eat breakfast let alone walk, I must lay down and close my eyes..An hour later I wake, still sluggish but with the mindset I just must get up. I have breakfast which I make a conscious effort to not put as much butter and jam on and get back to it. After an hour or so I am long vision again, back for another nap before school pick up..This now is unheard off, I do not nap, let alone twice in one day!! I must be getting sick..I think about the motivating post I am supposed to be writing and I fall asleep at the thought..I awake for school pick up, mind again on this darn post. I now feel like I am letting Sophie down as well as myself..
“I guess the fact I was on my feet and active for 11 or so hours yesterday counts for a days worth of exercise right?”

“I have only had toast and refrained from my choc biscuit s dipped in tea so that’s great right”
All these desperate reasoning’s go around in my mind..

Pick up Jai, homework, quick slap dash dinner and off to the city for Ja’s soccer. I haven’t eaten anything else. I sit in the car for an hour and half . I had all my work with me, I indented to write my motivation post but did nothing for the first 30mins other than play candy crush and cookie jam..The last hour I was on the phone dealing with some work issues..by the time Jai got in the car I was hungry, more tired and now emotionally drained further..
On the way home I think about what I shall eat when I get home. Tea, toast and bed it is.
That’s about the same point when my addiction for junk speaks up, just like a devil on my shoulder and says –
“oh Hungry Jacks”
“just one last time”
“ come on, it’s ok you haven’t had lunch, let alone dinner” ..that’s when the behaviour really goes down hill, I think of Jai “yeah he must be hungry”
Oh god..the angel jumps in “no that food is terrible, we don’t eat that and you most certainly don’t want to infect his body with that rubbish” but the devil wins I ask him, he lights up and in the drive through we go…

At this point I am done with myself, I have hit my ultimate low..oh wait nope, not yet, that’s comes when I order 2 burgers..Yep that’s right just the crispy chicken burger and small fries was not enough for this little miss piggy, I needed that cheeseburger special thing they have been teasing me with on t.v lately (I rarely even watch t.v and only saw this thing once actually but that was all I needed) Now I have never (well maybe once like 15 years ago) ordered two burgers..
….Did I think this was my last supper?? We sat in the car and I demolished these things like it was the first time I have ever discovered the glory that is food and like it would also as I said be my last..Guilt and shame washed over me. I wiped my mouth clean and told Jai that we must never do that again and if I ever ask him again in a moment of weakness to say “no mum we don’t need that rubbish” he agreed and we continued our journey home.

…. Whatever guilt I had felt previously that day, well now I was just an utter disgrace. Again I wrote this blog with my new added addition..Came home did what I needed to do and went to bed playing my games again. I was so disappointed inmyself and tired I checked out mentally.
“tomorrow is a new day”

And so it was and is..

I woke up tired and a bit unwell but I was not going to fail. So what my journey didn’t begin on Monday, sometimes shit happens. Yes I failed miserably haha but that just means I know better and can do better and today I have. It’s 3.30pm and I have not had any sweets despite my devil whispering “sweet” nothings in my ear. I exercised, briefly but it was a start and had a smoothie. Slow and steady wins the race.

So who is with me? Who would like to take a 30 day challenge with me? I will be doing a 30 day challenge for the rest of the year and beyond, however long it takes to make the positive changes I needed on all fronts of my life. Last year I did my 80 day video challenge and it had me filming for 9months nonstop. I still haven’t been able to keep up with the editing and posting but that’s because what came of that journey changed my life for the better. So many new opportunity’s came my way and I am a much greater person because of it all.
Woj doesn’t think I should do it with anyone as it will set me up and give me added pressure but we all know I never do as I am told hehe and well I may mess up and so may you but it’s ok, we are human. As long as we are trying our best that’s all we can ever ask from ourselves and others.

Be it with me or alone, I wish you all the positive strength to set yourself a challenge to better and improve yourself..Step by step, day by day we can reach our goals and dreams we just have to be willing to work for it! <3 Natasha


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